Your ‘The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives’ Guide
Hi fools! It’s no secret I love trash TV. It’s not a guilty pleasure because, I have absolutely no guilt about it. No guilt/no shame. And I am absolutely fascinated by Mormons. It’s the secrecy. I need to know things. So, when Hulu trotted out ‘The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives’, I was IN. The cast are all members of MomTok. Yes, MomTok. This all sprouted from a collaborative group of Mormon mom content creators in Salt Lake City, Utah. It’s reality gold.
Right now, there’s only one season and Hulu is barely trotting out the next. This gives me time to get you caught up and hooked because I am determined to bring people into the reality tv dumpster with me. Dive in, my little raccoons!!
The Show
So, ‘Secret Lives’ is about a group of women, who call themselves “MomTok”. At the moment, MomTok is a little broken because of the Mormon sex swinging scandal. The women are trying to get a handle on things and try to get this group back on track.
Oh yes, I did say Mormon sex swinging scandal. Did I forget to mention that? The group’s creator, Taylor Frankie Paul, was the sacrificial lamb for the scandal and accused of breaking up marriages, stealing husbands… all that stuff. Her posts went viral when she went on a TikTok live to BRING THE RECEIPTS and break down what actually happened.
Basically, it was the husbands’ idea and the women went along with it. There were no hard rules except no actual sex and no feelings. The feelings rule was broken. Marriages were ended.
It was crazy.
Below are the main members of the show:
Mom Tok
Taylor Frankie Paul
Taylor is the creator of MomTok. She went super mega viral for a Mormon swinging scandal. True prime time soap opera stuff. I wish I had the imagination to create this kind of fiction. But real life beat me to it.
Why is she the HBIC? Aside from actually creating MomTok, she’s authentic and vulnerable. She owns her mistakes and takes accountability for the hot mess she is.
She has two kids from her marriage.
Whitney Leavitt
Whitney fancies herself the MomTok leader. She’s wrong. Even though she is one of the OG members, she was not involved in the whole swinging scandal. (I have no idea how many times I’ll have to type out ‘swinging scandal’, but this is the life I’ve chosen)
Around the same time as the whole scandal broke out, there was a rumor that her husband was on Tinder and she also was getting a lot of hate for posting a video of her dancing in front of her baby while he was sick in the hospital with RSV. Then they all ran away to live in Hawaii. But now, they’re back.
Mikayla Matthews
Mikayla was actually the youngest Mom Tok member to become a mom (she was 16). She married at 16 as well. (Still together). At the start of the show, she’s 24 years old.
She had her own fairly large social media following before becoming one of the OG MomTok members by sharing her daily life with her three kids and being open with her struggles with her mystery autoimmune conditions and chronic eczema.
Mayci Neeley
Mayci is the mediator/peacekeeper of the group. She’s also the closest to Taylor right now. She tends to see the best in everyone, but is not afraid to go Momma Bear on anyone who does her friends wrong.
She has one son from a previous relationship and a daughter with her husband. She’s known for being open on her social media about her previous abusive relationship in hopes of letting women know they aren’t alone.
Demi Engemann
Demi doesn’t give us too much, honestly. She’s divorced and now married to a man 16 years older than her. She actually met him when she was nine years old. Creepy? Yes.
She owns up to her mistakes and holds other accountable for theirs.
Jessi Ngatikaura
Jessi is the oldest member of MomTok at 30 years old (season 1) She is also one of the only business owners, with her own salon, extension brand, and hair school.
So far, she seems very open with her life and experiences. She’s also no longer a practicing Mormon and has officially left the church.
Layla Taylor
When the show starts, Layla just ending her marriage of three years. She got married at 19 when she found herself pregnant. She and her ex-husband have two sons together.
She is the youngest member of MomTok.
Jen Affleck
Hulu will want you to never forget that she’s not just “Jen”, she’s “Jen Affleck”. Her lower third emphasizes this to no end.
She is the newest member of Mom Tok and seemingly the most devout Mormon of the group. She and her husband have two kids and she likes dancing on her kitchen counter.
The First Book of Taylor
The first episode deserves its own summary. When I say Taylor went viral for the MomTok swinging scandal, I mean VIRAL. This thing made news, morning show bits, and was media gossip fodder around the nation! The show starts off with all these clips of the scandal overlapping. And then we get to Taylor in her one on one talking to production. She is the main character. Don’t you forget it.
Mormon-hood rules are run down by the ladies. No swearing, no caffeine, no swearing. Sex before marriage is a NO-NO (pretty sure that’s all if not most religions, but ok). Taylor bluntly says that Mormon culture essentially raises women to be housewives and mothers. A woman’s entire purpose is to fulfill her husband’s wants and desires. FK THAT!
MomTok started as a fun release for these young moms. I mean, let’s not forget most were married right out of high school! They wanted to empower each other with the social media platform. Because, you know what? It didn’t matter how devout or “high” on the Mormon ladder they are, the ladies just wanted a safe and creative space that was just for them.
MomTok pretty much blew up overnight and actually became a great income stream for the ladies.
Enter the sex swinging scandal. Because one of the moms involved in it went on a Reddit rant and outed the whole secret, MomTok was KABOOM. And she just put it all on Taylor. Broken vows, heartbreak? Taylor’s fault. Who started it? Taylor did. Oh nononono, baby girl. So our girl went on TikTok live and called out EVERYONE involved. She can’t help it if she’s popular.
Core Four
According to Taylor, MomTok began with four girls. Herself, Mayci, Whitney and Mikayla. Prior to joining forces, they’d each already pretty much had their own platform and following. MomTok just made it all bigger. I mean, they’re young, pretty, have GREAT hair, and do cute dances. Who wouldn’t want to spend 20 seconds on their TikTok videos? As a result of their joining forces, they gained an even huger following.
Just to be clear – ONLY TAYLOR FRANKIE PAUL WAS PART OF THE SWINGING SCANDAL!
Coffee Catch Up
Like I said above, Mayci is the most neutral and peacekeeping one of the bunch. Since the scandal broke, Taylor had been keeping a low profile and staying away from everyone. But, they need to bring MomTok back to life (and film the show). So Mayci and Taylor meet up and do some catching up over coffee. Taylor, being the bad Mormon she is, is having iced coffee. Mayci is having … tea? I don’t know.
Mayci talks about her husband not initiating sex enough and Taylor gives a little advice. As the residential swinger, I guess she is the sexy sex expert. Sexpert, if you will. Then it’s Taylor’s turn. She’s been divorced and single for like 15 minutes and is already in a new relationship and OMG it is already drama!
Dakota and Taylor had just started seeing each other and posted a cute coupley pic on Instagram when all these girls DM’d her about how he was messaging them. Drama. He asked her to be official and she said yes. Of course, after that she had some drinks and yelled at him. But they’re fine now because they both want to eventually be married and have babies. More drama. Oh, girly pop. NO. Be single!
Because we’re all catching up here, (and filming) the girls need to talk about Whitney. Remember, this chick had run off to Hawaii. Well now, the B is back and Taylor is nervous. Whitney was NOT part of the controversy, but was tagged in a lot of the tea pages and Taylor’s admission, ‘set the record straight’ videos, so she’s pissed. She also had her own stuff going on. But let’s face it; isn’t it so much easier to deflect rather than to reflect?
Momma Taylor
So now we meet Momma Taylor when Taylor pulls up with the kids. She’s judgey, harsh and I don’t like her much. It’s so obvious Taylor is broken and needs guidance, but instead she just gets a harsh read. We can all see she’s rushed into a new relationship and now she’s confessed to her mom she might be pregnant. Instead of the “oh baby girl” she desperately needs, she gets yelled at and called stupid. I. DON’T LIKE. MOMMA T.
However, Momma T does have some good points. Her concerns are valid. Dakota is a recovering addict. That alone is a lot to deal with. And add on everything Taylor already has going on and all she’s just been through? It’s clear she hasn’t sat and processed everything. Girl, breathe.
Concerns = valid. Delivery? Not great.
But, the hot mess that is Taylor Frankie Paul is what we’ve come to love and accept. We’re on this journey with her.
Heeeeere’s Whitney
So now Whitney and her husband are in their U-Haul on their way to their new home – that they bought sight unseen. WHO DOES THAT?! I’m not exactly sure how they drove a moving van from Hawaii to Utah, but pop off Hulu! Be forewarned that Whitney and her husband Connor go through several style changes this season. It’s giving identity crisis vibes. 
Whitney really fancies herself the true leader of MomTok and keeps talking about how she needs this to survive. She also really leaned into blaming the sex scandal on Taylor and being dragged into it with her videos and content. She was able to use that to bury her husband’s Tinder rumor and porn addiction. Supposedly it never got physical; just messages and photos. Also, you can’t convince me this isn’t a lavender marriage. Watch and tell me I’m wrong. You just can’t.
After their little house tour, Whitney and Connor sit down to discuss his Tinder discrepancy. She tells him that she wants to be honest with the other ladies because she’s tired of lying. He’s crying and is just like “yea okay” because what else can he do?
The Band is Back Together
The girls all gather, including Whitney and Taylor gather at… someone’s house. Honestly all the houses kind of look the same. When they all sit down, Whitney admits she lied about why they moved to Hawaii and the Tinder rumors were true. And the whole time she was blaming Taylor and her wild scandal as the reason she had to move away. Taylor is silently pissed. However, being the true main character she is, Taylor just says “If people can forgive my stuff, you’re fine.” And because this is the confession circle or whatever, Taylor then tells the group that she’s pregnant but suffering a miscarriage. Obviously everyone asks if she’s okay. Whitney being Whitney is pissed that the spotlight was moved off her so fast.
Date Night
Taylor and Dakota go out for their date night and share an “I love you” with each other. It’s sweet. But we move on to later that night after Taylor has had some drinks. Police are called to her house by a neighbor. When they get there, Taylor is locked in the garage because, according to a sober Dakota, she was throwing stools and screaming at him. But when the cops talk to Tayler, she’s shaking and crying, telling them how scared she was and he locked her out of the house and in the garage. She ends up being the only one arrested for aggravated assault.
Cameras pick up several months later. Our girl is on probation and about seven months pregnant.
…Several Months Later
Whitney, Mayci and Mikayla are out having a nosh discussing Taylor’s continuous tarnishing of the MomTok brand. They may be friends, but at the end of the day, it is a business and brand deals aren’t coming in anymore due to all the negative publicity. Whitney plants the seed of wanting to basically kick Taylor out of MomTok. This bitch…
Taylor’s Preggo & Everybody Has Thoughts
Taylor is struggling and pregnant and the girl is just in the thick of it all. Her mother is semi supportive I suppose. But once she mentions Dakota pushing marriage on her and she’s just not there yet, Momma T is all over it. Now they’re both pushing marriage on this poor girl. LET HER GET THERAPIZED! LET HER GET THIS BABY OUT!
Mayci is really the only one there for her and seeing her. She also hates Dakota. During this hiatus, Taylor has confided in her and told her she wanted out of the relationship. And she has seen how awful he’s talked to and treated Taylor. It’s safe to say that she is not a fan. Being the good friend she is though, she is standing by Taylor’s side and helping her prepare for baby shower and baby of course. Mayci is just there. She is the definition of a true friend.
After her arrest, Taylor stepped away from both her friends and MomTok.
Because Whitney is who she is, she decides not going to the baby shower. She successfully made herself the center of attention at an event where she was literally not supposed to be the center of attention. This chick also silently made her stance known. She wants to be the MomTok leader and resents all the love and support that Taylor continues to get.
Can MomTok survive this?
Taylor is just really going through it. I feel like this can’t be stressed enough. She’s confided in the others that Dakota has admitted to cheating before, but she forgave him because they weren’t “official”. But she will absolutely be gone if it comes out he was with anyone else aside from what he already admitted.
Whitney v. Taylor
At this point, Whitney has told everyone how she feels about Taylor. She just hasn’t told Taylor. She ends up confessing during a very poorly thought out “Truth Box” session (way to go, Demi) that she’s bitter about the fact that Taylor has gotten so much grace for her scandal while Whitney still gets hate for the RSV video.
Whitney is still holding a grudge about that MomTok meeting when Taylor took the spotlight with her pregnancy/miscarriage immediately after she had admitted that she lied about Connor not being on Tinder. In a gracious way, Taylor did apologize for that and said she appreciated being called out because she did not realized that is how it was perceived. Taylor thought they were all sharing and it was not just about Whitney.
She also hates that fact that Taylor is still the de facto leader of MomTok.
Dakota? Da-NO-ta
Taylor is trying really hard to stay zen for baby, but damn is this man making it hard. They seemingly fight almost non-stop. He’s pressuring marriage when she just wants to get through this pregnancy, this probation and her therapy. He crashed their girls’ trip to Las Vegas under the guise of ‘not wanting to be too far in case the baby comes’. This stale chicken nugget of a man got upset over the Chippendales’ show and the thought of those men “dancing on his baby”. Seriously? Get bent. He’s just a big ick.
Mayci reveals to the other girls that during one of her anonymous Instagram session things that she got a message from a girl saying her and Dakota slept together after he had been with Taylor. With all of these rumors and her actually seeing his behavior, Mayci can barely dial her hatred down to civility around him. But she does it for Taylor’s sake. She’s a good friend.
Can MomTok survive this?
Jen Affleck is a Good Mormon
Let me give you the Jen Affleck rundown. First of all, she is the cutest little chipmunk and seems so genuinely spicy sweet. She is also very devout. Jen is a devoted wife and mother, and most of all – devoted to the church. I adore her.
Jen is also newish to the group and it kind of seems like she is being pulled in different directions.
It all truly comes to a head at her husband, Zac’s, BYU graduation gathering. His family very devout in the Mormon church. This means no drinking and Jen made that pretty clear to the others. But, during hot tub time, Jessi’s husband Jordan brought out a flask and started pushing shots on everyone. Not cool.
While I would understand this move… possibly… in Jen’s house – nope actually I would not. You always respect the rules of the hosts/homeowners. What made this worse was not only were they told no drinking and know how Jen and Zac feel about drinking, they were in Zac’s parents’ home. Definitely not cool.
Saints and Sinners
Jen’s next event is her youngest baby blessing. She goes out with Mikayla, Whitney and Mayci for some laughing gas and Botox. Since the topic of the grad party comes up, Jen admits how uncomfortable she was with the drinking and how disrespected her and her husband felt. Whitney takes the opportunity to convince her to not invite Jesse, Demi, Layla or Taylor to the baby blessing because they aren’t “really Mormon” anyway. Way to form that “safe space”, you twat.
The Saints and Sinners groups are born.
Unrelated: If Texas offered laughing gas with Botox and filler, you bet your bubbly booty cheeks I’d make that fit in the budget!
Tow Headed Jack Wagon
Throughout the season, we actually see how controlling Zac is in the relationship. It comes out that his parents had given the couple his med school tuition and he gambled it away. GAMBLED. IT. AWAY! Since he was in school already, he wasn’t working. Jen is currently the sole breadwinner in the family. Her social media supports her kids and now has to pay for med school. The toxic man in him does not like this.
When Jessi organizes a birthday girls’ trip for Layla to Vegas, all husbands are super supportive. Except Zac. None of them care that a Chippendales show may be a part of the itinerary. Except Zac. When Jen made a joke about it, he dead ass told her it would suck to be a single mom. Then he pivoted to how excited he is to gamble with the $2500 SHE GAVE HIM. He is limber as hell with all these mental gymnastics he’s doing.
Not only is this platinum haired thumb there making threats to leave his wife for a Vegas SHOW, he’s tagging along on a GIRLS’ TRIP to gamble HER MONEY! He contributes nothing but sperm and stress to this woman’s life.
It really popped off when they got to Las Vegas.
Jessi did in fact plan a Chippendales adventure for the girls. Most of them had figured it out and like I said, all husbands were okay with it – they actually did not care at all. Except Zac. He called her a bad mom, a bad person, a bad EVERYTHING. And of course, he tells her he doesn’t love her and threatens divorce. He is the worst. She left the venue in shambles. His rage texts essentially trashed all of her MomTok cohorts and he went from being side-eyed by the others to flat out despised.
She ended up leaving the girls’ AirBnB that night to talk to Zac in person (who was up past 2am GAMBLING). She showed up the next evening for dinner sad and trying to convince everyone that everything is fine.
He. Don’t. Care.
When Zac and Jen toured med schools, they ended up visiting New York. She told him she wasn’t sure how she could do MomTok all the way from New York. He plainly told her ” I don’t care.” This dumb, overripe avocado doesn’t realize she is the only income that family has. Moron.
Will MomTok survive this?
Mikayla
Mikayla was one of the ones closest to Whitney, but definitely pulled away after seeing how manipulative and hypocritical Whitney truly is. After the season, she did let it be known that her health was not doing great, so simply showing up was a lot of effort. We’ll see more of her season 2.
MomTok WILL survive this.
Momma Bear Mayci
Mayci is the friend we all pray for in our lives. She sees the good in everyone and wants good for everyone. She’s just a little cupcake, this one. But don’t be fooled.
Mayci is working on her new company, called ‘Baby Mama’, a vitamin company while all this MomTok drama is going on. Such an entrepreneur!
This woman is the first one who asks Taylor what it is she wants from her relationship with Dakota. She’s also the last one standing up in Whitney’s defense. Mayci validates everyone’s feelings while also trying to get them to see another point of view. She’s darling.
But she is not a pushover! Do not activate her ‘Go’ mode.
Whitney is this woman’s biggest albatross. Mayci is the only person to tries to see the reasoning of her unreasonable moves. The last straw was when Whitney was a no show at her ‘Baby Mama’ launch party. She didn’t even text her. That’s just shitty behavior. That’s your last friend standing and you need to hang on, girl. Do better. But this is about Mayci summary.
Mayci truly struggled with how to tell Taylor about the anonymous confession regarding Dakota’s cheating. She doesn’t want to devastate her pregnant friend but also doesn’t want Dakota getting away with being the slimy scum he is.
She eventually confronted Dakota and then called the mystery woman to set up a meeting. That was the cliffhanger.
Will MomTok survive this?
Demi Does Truth Bombs
Demi seems to be the one to just wants everyone to be open and accountable. Like Mayci, she’s rooting for everyone (except Whitney) and wants the best for all of them.
Her biggest MomTok beef is with Whitney. It’s actually a slow build. It’s frustrating that Whitney, while championing for herself to take over MomTok, she’s actively going against what they wanted this collaboration to stand for. She doesn’t root for the others or empower them. She doesn’t allow it to be the safe space they intended. Whitney sucks, and Demi isn’t shy about calling it out.
Galentine’s Day Massacre
One of the last straws happened at Demi’s Galentine’s party. Demi had previously told some of the girls about a sexy time adventure with her husband that involved Fruity Pebbles (I’m not even going to guess what exactly it was, but I have thoughts). Later on, she told them to keep it all between them because she felt like she betrayed her husband’s confidence. Totally understandable. Fast forward to this party. Whitney pour a giant bag of off-brand Fruity Pebbles into a gift box to give to Demi. Obviously a bitch move. Of course Demi gets upset. This in turn upsets Whitney and she cries victim. It’s on.
The Very Bad Idea
During one girls’ trip, Demi had the worst idea ever: a Truth Box. All the girls anonymously ask questions of others and are read out loud. BAD. IDEA. But, here we go! Whitney had snitched to Jen that Demi said she was “too Mormon” for her and she thought Taylor was trash. Okay, look. Sometimes in a friend group, we need to vent about some of the group to others in the group. It’s not shit talking behind anyone’s back – it’s a venting session and it is supposed to be safe. Whitney made it unsafe. She went and told everything Demi had said about Jen and Taylor to Jen. And then it all came out of that stupid Truth Box. Chaos ensued. Demi owned up to all she said about the two and clarified her words and what she meant at the time. See? Accountability.
MomTok did indeed survive the Truth Box, but just barely. Dammit, Whitney. Now Demi really has beef with her.
Jessi With The Good Hair
Jessi is a businesswoman. Whitney’s nonsense is impeding on her business, and she does not like it.
Our girl Jessi is open about her labiaplasty, even organizing a girls’ paint n sip night with non-alcoholic drinks and themed with “girl power” so they can paint their perfect p*ssy. Umm okay. I don’t think I’d commit that to Hulu, but I’m not the one on TV.
She is very much the coordinator of the group, organizing trips, themed gatherings and content days for MomTok.
If MomTok survives, it’s because of her.
Gorgeous Girl Layla
Layla is newly divorced and just finding her footing as a single mom. She’s shared with the group that she’s never had an orgasm. Sad. Layla has stayed fairly neutral, at least vocally. So far, she’s been a quiet observer with the worst poker face ever.
I am sure there’s so much more under the surface to Layla. We just don’t really get much from her other than some post divorce tattoos and her getting rubbed up on at her first Chippendales show.
Can MomTok survive this?
Whitney v Pretty Much Everyone
Okay, here we go. Whitney has changed her hair like 87 times in one season. This girl is definitely in some kind of crisis. She has gone from trying to stage a coup and take over MomTok to completely abandoning the group and dipping out into the void to become a homesteader. Honestly, I don’t even entirely know what that means. But she wanted to raise chickens and clean cow poop. I don’t know how this related to her also wanting to move back to Hawaii or dying her hair red for five minutes, but here we are.
After the disastrous trip for Mayci’s birthday where she admitted to hating Taylor and had no regrets for snitching on a private vent session. Of course, that led to her blowout with Demi where Whitney found out that while she’s talking about everyone, everyone is also talking about her. OH NO!
As a result of her own actions – leaving the group chat, unfollowing and blocking the rest of MomTok, the rest of the ladies have the absolute AUDACITY to not reach out to her. Returning her energy back to her? HOW RUDE!
After being excluded from several activities – that were in the group chat SHE LEFT! And then realizing how happy she decided not to go on that tearful and dramatic Las Vegas trip THAT SHE WASN’T INVITED ON, Whitney decided she was done with MomTok. You think?! I think they’re done with you, foolish worm.
How dare she face the consequences of her own actions!
So after baking homemade animal crackers (why?!), she put a used pee stick in a beautiful cake to announce to her family that she and Connor were pregnant with their third baby. No, I’m not kidding – dear LORD I wish that was made up. But congratulations on the baby news. Hopefully you’ll become a better person. And she is still positive she is finished with MomTok.
Can MomTok survive this?
And now…
So you’re all caught up with our “Secret Lives” MomTok group! Start bingeing Season two now! Catch it on Hulu/Disney +
Do you want to know how deep in I am? I have Googled, scrolled TikTok, listened to multiple podcasts where they’ve been guests, and… well that’s pretty much it. But anyway, I am A FRIGGIN FAN! I AM IN! INNNNN
I’ve been holding off until I finished this lil novella for y’all. Now it’s me, my tumbler, some popcorn and Hulu FTW!
If you’re here giving me love, maybe read some of my other posts? K thanks!
Love you all bunches!
J
