It’s April and you know what that means! Time to see what’s on Netflix to continue our admirable streak of less peopling and more hermit-ing. Here is a list of some of the best movies and shows coming to Netflix this month:
April 1st: ‘P.S. I Love You’
The first time I saw P.S. I Love You was the first evening I spent without my son. I was already a weepy mess, so a movie guaranteed to turn me into an even weepier mess was probably not one of my better choices. This movie still makes me ugly cry – I have no regrets. Postpartum hormones aside, this movie is everything you want when you need to get all up in the feels. It follows a young widow, Holly (Hilary Swank) after her husband’s death. During his brief battle with cancer, he set up letters to be sent to her after his death to guide and comfort her. He did that and I can’t even get a text back from some very alive guys.
April 1st: ‘The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants’ 1 & 2
This movie requires the proper setup: a girls’ night in with cheap wine, Uber Eats and face masks. If that doesn’t sound like your thing (weird, but okay), you should still watch these movies. Even if the bond of sisterhood doesn’t get you, the hope of finding the perfect pair of jeans should do the trick. That’s how you know this is fiction.
April 2nd: Kevin Hart: ‘Irresponsible’
If you’re into this sort of thing, Kevin Hart’s fourth comedy special will be on Netflix on April 2nd. I’m assuming Irresponsible is his apology tour for cheating on his pregnant wife. This time he’ll talk about everything from his kids and technology and cheating on his pregnant wife. Because… you know…. he CHEATED on his wife.
April 5th: ‘The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina’ Season 2
The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina is back, bitches! The 2nd season will be here Friday, April 5th. Just in time to hole up and tell everyone I have very important plans. If you like weirdly dark and angsty shows way below your age demographic (I know I can’t be the only one). Sabrina is a lot like Riverdale but without most of the inappropriate sexual awkwardness and more of a Halloween motif. In other words, it’s better. If the trailer fulfills its implied promise, season 2 is going to be even darker than the first because Sabrina is rocking the platinum hair and goth lipstick. I can’t wait!
April 5th: ‘Unicorn Store’
Captain Marvel’s Brie Larson’s directorial debut Unicorn Store also hits Netflix April 5th. After getting kicked out of school, Kit moves in with her parents and is working a temp job when she meets a unicorn salesman. Obviously she quits her shi**y job and buys the unicorn. You bet your a** I’m watching. You had me at “unicorn”.
April 5th: ‘Our Planet’
April 5th is promising to be the best day ever! Aside from teen trash and crime shows, nature documentaries are my jam. Netflix has answered the call. Eight glorious episodes of how fkn beautiful our planet is and the impact of garbage humanity being garbage humans ruining the planet with our climate change bullsh*t. To make it more fun, watch with that one relative who doesn’t believe in science and thinks it’s cute to say “Why is it so chilly if global warming is real?” BECAUSE 65 DEGREES IN THE DESERT IN THE MIDDLE OF SUMMER SHOULD NOT BE A THING, SUSAN!
April 10th: ‘New Girl’
The final season of New Girl has finally made it to Netflix! Praise Jess! Finally another full series to add into the constant rotation of worthy shows I have to watch repeatedly. Watching the hot messes grow into a slightly more stable bunch of hot messes, proving there is hope for me. I mean, if Nick Miller can do it, so can I. Maybe.
April 12th: ‘The Perfect Date’
Peter Noah Centineo is back on Netflix to keep making me feel like the dirty old lady I truly am. I don’t mind… bring it on! This time he’s Brooks and he needs money so obviously his only option is to create an app that allows him to pimp himself out to high school girls that need dates. Personally, I feel like there are steps he missed before resorting to this, but I’ll roll with it. Peter Brooks also keeps emphasizing how he “needs money for Yale”. I’m pretty sure that’s not exactly how college works, but what do I know? I’m just a dirty old lady. Ask Aunt Becky, she’ll help you out. Either way, I am here for this sweet cheesiness.
April 24th: ‘Bonding’
Old high school besties, Tiff & Pete reunite when Pete agrees to be Tiff’s assistant. Aww… Not so fast. Turns out Tiff is a dominatrix. I’m not exactly sure what a dominatrix assistant does, but Netflix has seven episodes to explain it to me.