Chronicles Of Sadness: Feeling Worthy

When you’re living with depression, there’s a lot of shit going on in your head. I mean… like duh, way to state the obvious, but hey… someone has to. What a lot of people don’t understand is that living with depression is just that- living with depression. Just because you’re dressed and out of the house and seemingly have it together, it doesn’t mean you aren’t dealing with the lingering feelings and thoughts that fill your head when you’re at your darkest. Depression doesn’t just “go away”. It’s always there, like gross under the skin acne just waiting to ruin your life with another sudden appearance. Sounds super fun, doesn’t it? Let’s just say it’s not as easy as “cheering up” and I will kick you in the junk if you dare tell me in any way, shape or form to “cheer up”.

  1. You’re too broken to be loved: I mean why would anyone love us and our intricately tangled up brain? Don’t be stupid. We are not truly broken, we’re scarred. And everyone is scarred in some way. That is called being human. I truly believe there is someone for everyone. Even broken, scarred up little messes like us. On my bad days, I remind myself over and over. On my good days, I know this.
  2. You’re unworthy of the love you do have: We are so blessed to have the people we do- the people who have stuck around – the people who love us and our  Again, don’t be stupid. We are ALL worthy of the love we have. I won’t lie; there will be plenty of people in your life that won’t stick around. They don’t get it and they can’t handle the darker moments you have, well then… f*ck them. You will always have someone who does get it. And you deserve that someone in your life. Actually they might not even deserve you… those lucky bastards. 
  3. You’ll never feel “normal” again”: You will. It might take a while, but you will. The thing is, you won’t even notice. One day you’ll just be living and feeling your normal life and all of a sudden be like “HEY! WHAT THE HELL? I feel… GOOD!” You’ll have to trust me on this. I never believe I’ll feel normal again… until I do. We live our lives in a constant cycle of ups and downs. Just hope that the ups last long enough so that the downs don’t keep us down. You feel me?
  4. Nobody else will ever “get it”: Maybe they will; maybe they won’t. But you’ll have people in your corner who can at least empathize. And guess what? They’ll love you for you and there is so much about you to love.

 

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