Chronicles of Sadness: It’s Okay That It’s Not Okay

The funny thing about depression is that depression is a funny thing. Depression and/or anxiety affects millions of us and yet when we’re in the middle of it, we still feel all alone. That’s the thing about depression. It lies to you. Constantly. It tells you nobody will understand. It whispers that whatever is bothering you is stupid and that your stupid bothers make you a burden. You say you’re okay because you don’t want to be that burden. Your problems aren’t worth sharing. Lies. All lies.  But these lies are constantly whispering in your head. And all it takes is one, one person that you do reach out to to just slightly slap your hand away to make all those whispered lies truth. Sadly, that happens a lot. Or at least depression tells us that. It’s hard not to believe that. So when the next person asks us how you’re doing, you say “okay”. Everything is “okay”. But it’s not.

It’s not okay. And that, my friends, is absolutely okay. It doesn’t have to be okay and you don’t have to have an absolute reason why it’s not okay.  There is rarely a specific reason why you feel like this; you just know that you do. You can’t put it into words and or give an explanation for the feelings.

“There’s bigger problems out there in the world” you’ll hear.

“You have a great life. You’re being ungrateful” they say.

“There’s no excuse for feeling ____” you’re told.

“Stop being weak” comes the tough love.

Them: How’s it going?

You: Going okay.

‘Going okay’ because you don’t want to be that burden Depression is telling you that you are. But, my friends. It’s okay if you aren’t okay. Everyone has points where they aren’t. It’s fine to not feel fine. It’s normal. Depression is war. Every night you lay your head down and wake up the next morning is a battle you’ve won. You’re not weak for living with depression. You’re not weak for not feeling okay. You are strong AF for going about your life in spite of depression and not feeling okay. Every day that’s a good day is a victory. By my estimation, you have had a LOT of victories. You’re a freaking warrior. You are not a burden. You are a gift. Fight the little voices that tell you anything different.

Find someone to talk to. You don’t have to talk about what’s bothering you. Just talk. Ramble… Listen to them; sometimes the distraction is a relief. Whatever you need. The ‘Not Okay’ will pass and you will be ‘Okay’ again. It doesn’t feel like it; Depression tells you it won’t be, but trust ME. I fight the liar too. And ‘Okay’ always ALWAYS comes back.

I will always be here for my friends and family. Shoot, strangers too. We won’t compare issues. I don’t do that. I’m here to listen. I’m here to distract. I am here.

Readers, you can always email me or message me on my social media pages and I will respond as soon as I can.

You matter too much for it not be okay.

J

If you feel at a complete loss, call 1-800-273-8255. They are available 24/7. So many people care about you.